It doesn’t have anything to do with this week’s question but this is Christmas when you live in an RV! There’s no room for a tree in the main living area, so I set this mini tree up in our bedroom and decorate it with hand painted ornaments from my mother-in-law. By Christmas, my husband and and I have to work our way through a wrapped package obstacle course to get in and out of bed. 😂
I’m guessing that many of us do quite a lot of cooking and entertaining during the holiday season. As such, I also suspect that we’ve all had at least one holiday kitchen disaster and I, for one, would love to hear that story. Here’s mine…
Years ago I agreed to make a cake for a huge holiday party - 450 people, if I remember correctly. The bottom tier was a 16-inch layer cake and after baking, filling, frosting, and decorating it, I dropped the whole thing on the floor where it smashed into a thousand crumbs. I don’t know how long I stared at the smashed cake before I could accept that there was no way to fix it and I would just have to start again. I stayed up all night remaking that cake and I must have been tired, because I barely remember the party at all. 😂
What about you? Have you had a holiday kitchen disaster?
The first FSL Mastermind Meeting for food writers on Substack is happening in January. The meeting is open to any and all Substack food writers. If you are listed in the FSL library and didn’t receive an email invite for the meeting, please contact Lynn at foodstacklibrary@gmail.com.
Before I learned I had blood sugar problems, I got up really early to make Eggs Benedict for the house. I hadn't eaten anything, and I started to get super lightheaded and nauseous. I kept working through the feeling, only to completely pass out right as I started the hollandaise! I remember waking up shouting, "My sauce is going to break!" -- which no one cared about except me, obviously. Someone else finished the breakfast and I learned a valuable lesson. If I'm going to cook... I have to eat!
I haven’t had a Christmas disaster yet, but I did have a disaster on Valentine’s Day. My new partner and I were going to broil steaks. A friend called who was very ill so we told her to come crash on our couch. We said we’d feed her and make sure she was comfortable. Shortly after our friend arrived, I stuck the steaks under the broiler and within not very long we had a fire in the oven. My partner wryly commented that it was not our finest hour as hosts.
This week my dog stole a whole packet of butter (250g). That evening while decorating the tree I slipped in a vast area of invisible dog butter sick which had soaked into my favourite rug. The living smells of sour cheese.
Yesterday, during a productive baking session (dough rising, sourdough starter fermenting successfully) the oven decided to die on me.
Ugg. I can almost smell that sour cheese odor but I'm trying not to imagine it in too much detail. And what terrible timing for your oven! Do you get to use it as a good excuse to get a shiny new one?
All of my in laws were visiting for the holidays — a very busy time for anyone, but for a musician, the month of December is a marathon of gigs. With family in town through all of this, I still felt the need to play hostess and make a ton of food for them even though I wouldn’t be around to eat it with them.
One of these things was my favorite slow cooker shredded pork recipe — so easy, feeds a lot, you can make it go in whatever direction you’re in the mood for.
Not being around for the cleanup, someone “accidentally” poured the remaining fat DOWN OUR DRAIN. I came home after a concert, was having my post-concert glass of Scotch, and heard the most horrific sound of the garbage disposal somehow turning itself on. It was also so cold that time of year (like single digits and wind chills of -20F), so whoever poured the grease down our drain caused the pipes for our kitchen sink and dishwasher to completely freeze for several days, meaning that we were washing our dishes in the sink at our wet bar until the ground had thawed enough for the plumber to flush out our pipes.
I’ll just say that I was glad to be busy with gigs for the rest of their visit…
Ha! No — no one fessed up and my husband either “doesn’t remember doing it or didn’t see who did”. Whatever THAT means… They mostly eat out when they visit now, mainly because I’m busy on weekends with gigs or rehearsals. But if I do cook anything for them, I sure as hell am the one cleaning up
Whoa I can just feel the disbelief after you dropped the giant cake in that story, Rebecca!!!! The biggest holiday disaster was when my stalwart Italian MIL cooked the entire Christmas meal despite having a stomach virus because she’s THAT tough. But then the next day most of the 15 of us family member had caught the virus, so not sure it was worth it 😂
Oh Rebecca, that cake story really takes the cake, lol! I would have cried had that happened to me but it sounds like you managed to save the day.
I’ve had many kitchen disasters over the years but one that was especially embarrassing was when we invited a rabbi and his wife over for dinner. I was making siopao, a Chinese steamed yeast bun filled with meat and vegetables, as an appetizer. We got to talking and I overproofed the dough. I made the buns and steamed them anyway hoping for the best. They were the flattest, gummiest things in the world. Our guests were so gracious about it as we all pulled off the dough and ate the filling with spoons. We are still friends with them and have had dinner again many times despite that bumpy beginning.
My initial reaction to everything is, "I can fix it." It really took me so, SO long to accept that the only fixing it was starting over. 😂 Also, your story is why I try to make things ahead of time when having people over for dinner - I cannot be trusted to talk and cook at the same time. :-)
Before I learned I had blood sugar problems, I got up really early to make Eggs Benedict for the house. I hadn't eaten anything, and I started to get super lightheaded and nauseous. I kept working through the feeling, only to completely pass out right as I started the hollandaise! I remember waking up shouting, "My sauce is going to break!" -- which no one cared about except me, obviously. Someone else finished the breakfast and I learned a valuable lesson. If I'm going to cook... I have to eat!
Haha! I relate to your immediate concern being the sauce. Priorities. :-)
I haven’t had a Christmas disaster yet, but I did have a disaster on Valentine’s Day. My new partner and I were going to broil steaks. A friend called who was very ill so we told her to come crash on our couch. We said we’d feed her and make sure she was comfortable. Shortly after our friend arrived, I stuck the steaks under the broiler and within not very long we had a fire in the oven. My partner wryly commented that it was not our finest hour as hosts.
Haha! I once set my mother's kitchen on fire after trying to surprise her with a Mother's Day Brunch. 🙄
That’s the best! 😂😂😂
Did you tell her beforehand that burnt offerings were on the menu?
😂
This week my dog stole a whole packet of butter (250g). That evening while decorating the tree I slipped in a vast area of invisible dog butter sick which had soaked into my favourite rug. The living smells of sour cheese.
Yesterday, during a productive baking session (dough rising, sourdough starter fermenting successfully) the oven decided to die on me.
Oh, dogs. Mine stole the standing rib roast off the counter as it rested, so...that was entertaining. He was so happy.
It’s amazing how quickly it’s consumed! Rupert the Lurcher is a professional food thief - not his first crime I can assure you.
Masters of crime, they are.
Ugg. I can almost smell that sour cheese odor but I'm trying not to imagine it in too much detail. And what terrible timing for your oven! Do you get to use it as a good excuse to get a shiny new one?
Oh no and dog puke is a hard smell to get rid of. So sorry to hear about the rug. Disastrous on many levels!
All of my in laws were visiting for the holidays — a very busy time for anyone, but for a musician, the month of December is a marathon of gigs. With family in town through all of this, I still felt the need to play hostess and make a ton of food for them even though I wouldn’t be around to eat it with them.
One of these things was my favorite slow cooker shredded pork recipe — so easy, feeds a lot, you can make it go in whatever direction you’re in the mood for.
Not being around for the cleanup, someone “accidentally” poured the remaining fat DOWN OUR DRAIN. I came home after a concert, was having my post-concert glass of Scotch, and heard the most horrific sound of the garbage disposal somehow turning itself on. It was also so cold that time of year (like single digits and wind chills of -20F), so whoever poured the grease down our drain caused the pipes for our kitchen sink and dishwasher to completely freeze for several days, meaning that we were washing our dishes in the sink at our wet bar until the ground had thawed enough for the plumber to flush out our pipes.
I’ll just say that I was glad to be busy with gigs for the rest of their visit…
Oh no!!!! Did you find out who was responsible and are they still allowed in your kitchen? 😂
Ha! No — no one fessed up and my husband either “doesn’t remember doing it or didn’t see who did”. Whatever THAT means… They mostly eat out when they visit now, mainly because I’m busy on weekends with gigs or rehearsals. But if I do cook anything for them, I sure as hell am the one cleaning up
😂😂😅 omg hilarious and terrifying all in one story
Whoa I can just feel the disbelief after you dropped the giant cake in that story, Rebecca!!!! The biggest holiday disaster was when my stalwart Italian MIL cooked the entire Christmas meal despite having a stomach virus because she’s THAT tough. But then the next day most of the 15 of us family member had caught the virus, so not sure it was worth it 😂
Haha! I suppose being dedicated to the holiday meal can go too far. 😂🙄
🧠😂
Were you hosting?? Because I can relate to the in law aspect of this (see my story 🥴)
Oooh ill go look at your story. No - my MIL was hosting; she always hosts Christmas Eve and day. Has all the many courses down to a science
Which story was it??
Sorry, by “my story” I meant my own comment on this post, the one about a mystery in-law pouring pork fat down our sink 🫠
Oh Rebecca, that cake story really takes the cake, lol! I would have cried had that happened to me but it sounds like you managed to save the day.
I’ve had many kitchen disasters over the years but one that was especially embarrassing was when we invited a rabbi and his wife over for dinner. I was making siopao, a Chinese steamed yeast bun filled with meat and vegetables, as an appetizer. We got to talking and I overproofed the dough. I made the buns and steamed them anyway hoping for the best. They were the flattest, gummiest things in the world. Our guests were so gracious about it as we all pulled off the dough and ate the filling with spoons. We are still friends with them and have had dinner again many times despite that bumpy beginning.
My initial reaction to everything is, "I can fix it." It really took me so, SO long to accept that the only fixing it was starting over. 😂 Also, your story is why I try to make things ahead of time when having people over for dinner - I cannot be trusted to talk and cook at the same time. :-)
Yes that was a hard lesson I learned that day! 😂
Last year, I overcooked the Prime Rib and I still haven't forgiven myself.
I did this exact thing for a holiday dinner party years ago and the regret is real!